Dec 17 2008
Single parenthood, being child-free and elder care
A product of single parenthood, child-free and an ex-provider of elder care. Yeah, I am and was all those things. I was raised by a single mom when it was not as prevalent as it is now. She took alot of crap from “well meaning” friends and strangers, who were too happy to point out the error of her ways. Mom never regretted having me; she regretted that I had to endure others’ negative reaction to my existence. She tried to include my father in my life, but he was not interested.
Mom and I lived with her mom for many years to survive. Mom worked like a dog for $30.00 a week as a domestic. Hence, she could not save enough to get her own place. Plus, people did not leave home so quickly as they do today. I had grown uncles living in Grandma’s rented house. Finally, in her late 30s, Mom found a gov’t sponsored LPN nursing program and applied. She was accepted and never returned to housekeeping. We lived on welfare and food stamps while she was in school. She finally had a more marketable, profitable skill, but we still had some hard times. On our own in our own apartment, I recall a period of unemployment that she had(like I am having now). We lived on what she had been able to save, but everyday I saw the worry on her face. It was the fall of ‘71. Nixon had taken the currency off the Gold standard. Bleak times like now. Eventually, a job in a hospital popped up. It turned out to be a Godsend and a curse. She hated the shirking demeanor of the employees and wanted to quit, but feared unemployment more. She stayed 13 years (1986) until she fell ill from her rheumatic heart and exhaustion. I cared for her and our little condo that I had been able to buy. She was so proud of that. She used to say, “My baby owns property!” She passed in 2004 from a ”medical misadventure.” Mistake by a tired, careless nurse in a hospital. How ironic!
So when you hear that I am child-free, don’t judge me for being selfish. I have just as much experience as any set of parents in caring for a human being.
One Response to “Single parenthood, being child-free and elder care”
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I for one wouldn’t judge you for that. My husband and I have been married for 8 years, together for nearly 11 and we don’t have children yet. Not is meant to have children at the same stage in life as everyone else, if at all.
As long as you’re satisfied with the choices you’ve made then I think that’s all that matters. Does that make you selfish? I think not. There are others who maybe wouldn’t have chosen to care for an elderly parent and I’m not sure they’d automatically be judged as selfish for that decision.
Just my 3 cents. (Threw in an extra one for good measure).
Jen